Being alive feels mostly dead, and the ifs, whens, and whys fill my head. I battle the days and try to look ahead. When I see that my future will never be same, I try to forgive and not lay blame. But by the actions of one I am forever lame. Was he in a hurry, perhaps for a date? Whatever the reason he ended up late and his hasty decision has sealed my fate. We’ve all made mistakes behind the wheel, some with no consequence and some far too surreal. I wonder if he thinks about me, the damage he’s done that took my leg and my knee. He can still walk and drive his car, but walking for me is in the future by far. I sit in this chair every single day and the dream that I had has faded away. It’s true I’ll get better and walk someday but my mind aches badly with each passing day. I thought I would die laying there in the sun, my body was destroyed and my brain was numb. The driver that hit me came to my side, he held my hand and together we cried. I hope and I pray every single day that my challenge will soon, soon go away. But I know for a fact this will never be done, it will challenge me forever, because of the actions of one. Lucky for him I did not die, I hope that relief isn’t his only sigh. I hope that he’s sorry and smarter today, for his next wrong move could take a life away. So I continue to cry every now and then, just waiting to see when I can walk again. All I want is to stand upright, to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. To go to the fridge for a simple drink takes far more effort than one may think. My emotions are battered beyond my control and this lameness will follow me until I grow old. The thoughts and fears keep me awake at night but I have only one choice and that’s live through the fight. I hope a lesson was learned that day and he realizes from me, what he took away. Driving is a privilege, not a right you see; and can end a life quickly, but thank God not for me. I yearn to ride a motorcycle again someday, but really don’t know if the fear will go away. Don’t take for granted that you can still walk. Don’t take for granted that you can still talk. Don’t take for granted that you can still ride; for so many before me have already died. Drive with caution and with care, don’t make hasty moves – don’t you dare. In the blink of an eye things can go bad, and the destruction that’s left is far worse than just sad.
By: Ursula M Wachowiak
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