What Dreams are Made of…

“What is it about having dreams that people can’t seem to understand or admit? We all have dreams but a great many people fail to realize their dreams for one simple reason; FEAR. We don’t admit our dreams to others because then we are on “the hook”. If somebody else knows our dreams and we don’t accomplish them, then we are failures. Not So. We are failures for not trying. We are not failures if we try and do not succeed.

Whether you have dreams of love, fame, fortune, business, adventure or whatsoever fills your heart; the only failure is not trying. Not all dreams will be realized or be successes, but living with the regret of not trying will haunt you until the end of your days.

Accomplishing a dream will most likely be a great deal of work; after all if it were easy we would have done it with no problems and hesitation. The very first step in realizing your dream is to share it with people, lots of people. Make yourself vulnerable to criticism, suggestions, and the possibility of less than perfect success.” — I posted this bit of philosophy before I ever left Illinois.

I now have a little over 4 months on the road and I want to share with you a little insight into accomplishing my dream.

As you all know, my journey is not unique. Loads of men and women have traveled the United States via motorcycle on very long trips and some even for years at a time. What is unique however, is that a vast majority of folks that do such a trip have finances to back them up and while they may budget, they don’t have to worry so much about where the next meal, bed, or gas will come from. There are a few nomad homeless bikers that make their way by the skin of their teeth and the grace of God. I have had the pleasure of meeting two men much like myself; Bean’re and Boston Mike. I’m sure there are others as I have heard tales, but these men I have met, I have talked to, and have shared stories of being a homeless biker. Being men, these guys have talents like carpentry and mechanics that can lend themselves to odd jobs. I have a computer geek background and do my best at my Virtual Assistant business. I make money, but the expenses still outweigh the income.

I have let a few financial obligations go into the toilet way back before I ever left. I maintain the critical items and simply know that my credit is crap. My priority is to survive and I do not need a credit card bill to add to my worries. Irresponsible, perhaps a little, but we must weigh all things in any decision and somethings outweigh others. I did the best I could do when I was gainfully employed and tried hard to make accommodations even after my food pantry, LIHEAP, 401k and savings had been depleted. There came a point when I had to decide whether I kept looking for a job in my field paying me far less than I ever made before or could pay rent on, take a piddly job that still wouldn’t pay rent but was something, or sell everything and set off on a life challenging, life changing journey.

Well, you all know what I chose. This decision did not come without much heart ache and input from folks I called friends. In vast majority, I had a great deal of support and still do. Those are the people that help fuel my fire and my bike from time to time. It was sad however when a small handful of ‘friends’ gave me grief over my choice, but like I said, you have to make yourself vulnerable to these things and you must give them consideration in planning. Here are a few things I heard:

“Take any job, it’s better than nothing.” – Yeah, ok and still not pay my bills, where’s the gain? (The girl that said this has never held a good dependable job for very long. Lack of dedication and motivation breeds fear, instability, and ignorance.)

“You’re just running away from your problems.” – Not really, the problems follow me, whether I can solve them or not is another story. (The guy that said this has always had a ton of drama in his life, to the point that I got tired of hearing his negativity all the time.)

“So you’re going to free-load off of others.” – This one hurt the worst, because I’ve always been a giver to a painful degree. (The guy that said this had given me a place to stay for a couple months before I took off but then kicked me out. He has his own demons and I can’t say for sure what provoked him because I was clean, quiet, and cooked. We had been neighbors and friends for two seasons and I really was hurt not only by his actions but his harsh words.)

“You’re setting yourself up to be beaten, raped, or worse.” – Geez, I lived near Chicago, didn’t I do that daily? (FEAR is your worst enemy and you’ll never accomplish anything if all you consider are the negative possibilities.)

“Your bike is old and you’ll be home in a few months when it dies.” – There was validity to this, but I do my best to ensure she runs great and hey, she’s doing well for over 32,000 in almost 2 seasons. (And, the guy that said this has a bike with over $35k into it and he rides maybe 500 miles a year. If my bike totally blows up today, she has lived a good life, she has given me more than my $4,000 worth of joy, and I have lived a dream on that old girl. I doubt that guy could say the same.)

And so, as I often do, I have been pondering in the past week or so my life, my journey, my decisions, my struggles, and my growing aches and pains; I have wondered to myself how long can I do this? I don’t know and when people ask, I shrug my shoulders and simply say, “Until the bike is dead, or I am dead. Either way, it’s been a hell of a great time.”

I’m a cheap skate for sure. I have been building my business (slowly, very very slowly) but it’s going up and not down so far. I have received a LOT of help from other people; friends and strangers. Even a $5 donation from a man that is disabled and wheel chair bound. He is mentally on-top of his game, but he shared with me this challenge: “I get interviews based on my skills, but when I go in for the interview, they see me and my wheelchair and end up never calling back.” People fear what they cannot understand and what makes them uncomfortable. It’s sad, because there is a great deal of humility and appreciation to be learned from all sorts of people in the world. I suppose my own challenges with abuse and depression have brought me to a place in life where I can accept and empathize that every person has “issues”. I do not however, sympathize with people that have no motivation or determination to improve their lives for the positive. We all have our friends we can vent to but I try my best not to put my challenges before the world, especially in this ‘Social Media day-in-age’, nor do I vent so much or so long that I lose the caring ear that was lent to me.

So I say to you now, no matter what your dreams may be, no matter what your finances may be, no matter how harsh the feedback may be; only you are in control of your destiny. Always remember, Dreams are merely realities you have not made come true yet.

I challenge ever reader of this post right now, to comment here and tell me:

  1. What is one great dream you have?
  2. What are you doing towards making that dream come true?
  3. If you are doing nothing about it, why?

You will see, as I have time and again, there are resources you never knew existed, there are people out there that will see your motivation and dedication and will be there to push you along in their own little way. And you will find that with every positive step forward you will gain more and more courage to push on. And with every set-back you will re-evaluate and wonder; the trick is to still push on.

Ultimately in this world, once your children are grown, you are really only responsible for YOU and nobody else, not a spouse, not a friend, not a neighbor. You are responsible for You!! Live up to your own expectations and expect more from yourself than you believe is possible.

I wish you all Peace, Hugs, and Pipes that Rumble ™.

PUSH YOURSELF TO THE EDGE,

YOU WILL EITHER FALL OR FLY,

BUT YOU WON’T KNOW UNLESS YOU TRY!!!

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Your HELP is ways appreciated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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22 Responses to What Dreams are Made of…

  1. Tricia says:

    Well, I missed this blog, but realized it when checking emails that have not be read! What a special treasure to find it today. Ursella, you are my new hero! You have done what people only think about doing “someday!” And to write about the “negative naysayers” that tried to dampen your dreams and spirits…whoa, very impressive! We all have those people in our lives, but it takes alot of nerve to call them out! Even in a blog! LOL!! We may never meet, but know that here in NC I will will have my thoughts and prayers will be for you as you travel, and I’ll continue on reading whatever you post!! And yes, my ’03 Dyna Lowrider has the pipes that rumble! Tricia

    • The BROAD says:

      Thank you so much Tricia for always following along. Folks like you give you encouragement to keep writing my story. I’ll live it regardless, but it’s nice when others enjoy hearing it. And there are always nay-sayers but I can’t let them dampen my spirits. Thanks for the love!! Hugs, U

  2. Ted says:

    WOW Ursula… you are absolutely amazing. Should have gotten to know you better when we were neighbors. Ride on!!!

    • The BROAD says:

      Awww… Thanks Ted. Neighbors yes but of course life, family, and kids had us all busy in those days. I remember one thing you said to me that has stuck with me forever… You said something about my hair and face always being done and you believed that was a sign of someone that really cared for themselves. Funny… Back then I don’t think I cared for myself enough as I was too busy caring for everybody else. You should see my bug covered face and wind tattered hair somedays now… You’d laugh. But Ted, I care very very much for myself now and have found my peace. Big hugs, U

  3. Toby says:

    I’m always inspired reading about how others find a way to follow their dreams. Thank you for writing this. I have a very full life…2 wonderful kids in college, married the love of my life (took me a very looong time to find him!) and I have a good job in marketing. But…I’m an artist. Went to art school and got my BFA years ago and freelanced for many years after that. After several bumps in the road and a failed marriage I knew I needed an income more steady to support myself and my kids who were young at the time. So I got a steady job with benefits and a regular paycheck. Little by little I’ve let my art take a back seat to everything else and I MISS it! I’m a creative person and without a creative outlet I feel like something is missing. Recently I decided it was time for me to get back in my studio, every week at a minimum. So I’ve been restocking my supplies and cleaning up my studio. By this weekend I’ll be painting again! Already my decision has changed the way I look at everything…there’s so much inspiration around me I won’t know where to begin, but I think I’ll figure it out!

    Always enjoy reading your posts. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself with the world!

    • The BROAD says:

      That’s an awesome story Toby and I appreciate you sharing it with me. Every great journey begins with just one step. Sounds like you are very determined and I have much confidence that you will be back in the swing in no time. I’d love it if you’d share some of your art with me when you are ready. I am excited for you and I’m wishing you much success. Thanks also for following me on my dream. Peace, U

  4. Cheryl Robish says:

    Okay, I’m really getting tired of telling you “great read or great post” but dang it, again, another great read…LOL. Funny how this went full circle, but you already know what my big dream in life was…to ride and have my own motorcycle!!! When I told you that in January 2yrs ago at my Birthday celebration, you gave me a lot of words of encouragement and actually a few words of doubt. It was that conversation that fueled my fire and passion even more. The next week I was at the DMV requesting info and reading up on “motorcycle rules of road” and a week after that I went back, took the test and got my permit. I had quite a few doubters, negative nellies and ney-sayers but negativity & failure is not it my vocabulary!!!
    You offered to teach me to ride (when you then realized I was serious) and I’ll never forget the
    day I showed up at your house (you had literally just lost your job) ur world had been turned upside down and yet without a hesitation, you spent hours teaching me and being patient with me while YES, I learned how to ride a motorcycle!!! I will admit when you actually let me ride “YOUR BIG GIRL” I still had no idea what the hell I was doing…..Thank God that turned out okay…lol
    Now in my 2nd season of riding I still appreciate your time, help and knowledge everytime I get in the saddle.
    Now the even funnier thing is that in 2 weeks my other big dream in life will be realized…I’m marrying the LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!! And you will be there for that too !!!!
    Now, I know we are not “best friends” but good friends we are and good friends will all help you realize and achieve you goals and dreams…..so you see Ursula, the ppl you mention in your story who put you down and gave up on you before you even started, probably weren’t your friends in the 1st place 🙂
    I am glad you chose to follow your heart AND YOUR DREAM and not let the negative words and thoughts of others stop you. You are strong, you are brave and you will succeed !!!!!
    “Roll on Girl” and as always, stay safe and SEE YA IN A COUPLE WEEKS!!!!
    Xoxo ~ Tank

  5. Cheyenne says:

    Great Outlook Toots!! Stay positive no matter what and be safe!!! Miss Ya!!

    • The BROAD says:

      Thanks babe. I miss ya too. Just 3 more weeks ’til I pass out hugs. Hope you’re near the front of the line. Can’t wait to see your new cruiser too. Maybe the BROAD can take a riding break and test out your backseat. HeHeHe… (and maybe have more than one big girl drink – wink wink knod knod). I love ya brother and I do so enjoy seeing your name pop up on my posts. Your support is very much appreciated. ❤ Hugs, U

  6. scott g says:

    ursula we love you and will help in any way we can.my dream was to strat the touring company it is a tough road but it will pay off in the end. we look forward to seeing you soon. live the dream and ride on

    • The BROAD says:

      Hello my new brother from another mother. You know good and well that I was looking very forward to seeing y’all and it was an amazingly delightful weekend. I can’t thank you enough for all your hard work and touring us crazy bikers around. Your folks are amazing people and I am very blessed for their hospitality during our trip and when I stayed with them after y’all left. I’m very please that you have taken action on one of your dreams. I wish you much success with S&S Motorcycle Tours, but even more than that, I wish you and Stephanie a gazillion miles and smiles. Big hugs My Brother!!

  7. TJ says:

    The only real disability,…. is a bad attitude. Keep on keepin on. Enjoying your posts! Have you passed through Kentuck yet?

    • The BROAD says:

      Hey TJ… you are so right. A bad attitude is worthless and crippling. I passed through KY on the way out of IL of course and will pass through again as I return to visit in a few weeks, but I haven’t really toured KY as of yet. I do appreciate you following the journey and if you have ride suggestions for KY, please send them along. Cheers, U

  8. Ron Aldarondo says:

    Amazingly Beautiful ❤

    • The BROAD says:

      Thanks Ron. Every time I see your name on FB or here on the blog, I can’t help but remember meeting you at my fundraiser. And I can’t help be remember how much money you spent on raffles. Thank you so very much for support and your generosity during this journey. I’ll see ya in a few weeks. Hugs comin’ your way.

  9. Susan Gercone says:

    That was great Ursula. You are brave, but get off that damn ledge.
    I have started over 4 times in the last 14 years. These were start overs that I did not choose, but had to live with. Happy? Not really.Only Somewhat. I am healthy, have a home, a wonderful family, but it is still my life and not all that I want. I am greatful for these things, but I as well have something missing. Not sure where to find it. My own self confidence has to rear up to do it first.
    That is what I struggle with. I hope I can attain that before I am sick or just too tired to search for that last missing piece of my life.
    You are a strong woman to do what you are doing. I applaud you. Love Ya, Sue (Yarleygirl)

    ( I have been telling people for years that I have a Yarley and I have come to believe I really have a Yarley..lol. They look at me like they should know what it is, and I just smile, then tell them….It is my Wanna be Harley, with my loud pipes. I have used that as my other email user name since I bought the bike in 2005 after giving away my Kawasaki 700 LTD learner bike )
    Be Healthy..and safe.

    • The BROAD says:

      Hey baby!! You and I have had many of these conversations in private and by phone. Sometimes ya just gotta say, “screw it… I going my way.” Hard to do when so many people love you and you love so many, but ultimately only we are responsible for ourselves and nobody else will magically make things happen for us. I wish you nothing but smiles and peace! I love you Sue. June 29, Joe’s in Joliet – I’ll be there.

  10. Sue says:

    OMG, sweetheart! That brought tears to my eyes! I don’t know if I’d ever have the balls to do what you’re doing now, but I’ve been pushed into “corners” before, and did what I had to do to survive. Had the nice window office overlooking the lake making 6 figures, lived in a 1/2 million $ house and kept up with the Jone’s. Later, wound up leaving the jerk, going on food stamps, selling my car (wouldn’t give up the bike) and living with my father…
    My dreams? After 50 years, I’ve finally found them (or they found me). In the middle of nowhere with the love of my life, dogs, chickens, a snake and soon to be parrot (LOL). You? What did I tell you when you were here? I admire you, and you are my hero! Safe travels, always, love! And, you know the door is forever open to you, whenever you need it!

  11. uncle dave says:

    best read i’ve had in a long,long time!!!….peace and power to you my dear!!!!!!!

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