As I’ve wandered my meager dwelling in the past couple of weeks trying to decide what items I truly need for my journey, what items I wish to store because they are so dear to me, and what items I can live without and sell; I have had several moments of angst. I would be lying if I said this journey does not come with some anxiety. But we’ve all heard it before: “There is nothing to fear but fear itself.”
I do not own a great many possessions of any profound value but the things I own have either been gifts or things I’ve worked really hard to earn. In either case, downsizing (like to barely nothing) is a difficult chore.
I have been trying to do a couple hours each day on the downsizing and then continue my regular work as is required to survive. For this reason, I have not written lately and I do apologize. I find that I sometimes get side tracked while I’m working on the house…. squirrel… And today that happened again.
While digging through some old papers I found a note my son wrote me when he was 13 years old. In short, he said how he missed me back then, how he wanted more time with me, how he thinks we are unique because we get mad but always love each other and that we like the same stuff, and how he and his friends from school thought I was the “weirdest and coolest mom ever”. Umm – yeah, I did get teary, so there.
As I continued cleaning I ran across some photos I had taken when I was 18, they were a gift to my then husband. What’s so very strange is that just 2 weeks ago, he asked me on Facebook if I still had them. I said they could be stored somewhere but I had no clue where. You see I try not to burn bridges, for you never know who you may need some day or whom you may be able to help later, that you couldn’t help before.
The cleaning and downsizing gives me a great deal of time to consider my journey, my reasons for the journey, and my goals on the journey. It also gives me time to reflect on just how blessed I am to have all this ‘stuff’ that I can get rid of, when so many people don’t even have a home. I found other notes and cards from friends and family giving encouragement at times of need, wishes for birthdays, hugs for Valentine’s, and so forth. Yep, I read them all – GAME DELAY for sure. But I think that game delay had purpose. I will never be alone in this world even when I am the lonliest. There are just too many people that I have touched and that have in turn, touched me.
While I anxiously await the day I can leave, I sadly foresee the hollow in my heart when I can’t hug my son, my grand daughter, or a friend, nor share a ride, a beer, or a laugh with my crew. But I’ll be back throughout the journey and it is said, “Absense makes the heart grow fonder,” – I sure hope so.
In dedication to all the wonderful family and friends that I have and will miss…
YOU HAVE GIVEN ME STRENGTH
As I travel the countryside by day and by night,
I’ll think of y’all often and let love kill fright.
For the times we have shared and the miles we have known,
Though I’m out in the wilderness I’m never alone.
I take you all with me if only in my heart,
And I thank you all dearly for doing your part.
For being my family, a buddy, or friend,
My love for you all will never end.
You have given me strength that you don’t even know.
You have given me strength to DREAM and to GO.
May you all have the courage to build your dream and seek it out actively. Never let dire circumstances nor the nay-say of others stand in your way. The only failure is regret for not trying.
SPONSORS that give 10% of Purchases back to The BROAD when you enter “BROAD” in the coupon code.
Rider’s Claw – Hold your Tunes & GPS on your Harley or Metric Cruiser in high quality style & craftsmanship; custom for your device.
Nailmaille – Gorgeous, Unique, and Heavy Duty Jewelry made with Stainless Steel Nails.
Fox Creek Leather – Fine American made leather products for riding horses (furry or steel) and much more.